V’nahafoch, v’nahafoch, v’nahafoch, v’nafoch 🎵
Ever wondered if this song was written especially for your house on Purim?
A day of no school and much sugar. Um, yay?
Some kids love the extra energy, fun, and break from the everyday that Purim brings. But many, many kids are just plain overwhelmed and out of sorts.
Expectations
Purim is the unofficial showing-off-the-kids day in our frum society, which is lots of fun… and highly stressful. We love the brainstorming, the planning, the shopping, but when it comes down to Purim day…
I remember once seeing a mother totally losing it in public because one child wasn’t wearing the hat which matched his costume. She was a mother like the rest of us, just trying her best to keep all the balls in the air, and the irony hit me – what are we all doing?
Purim is a yom tov, a special day of simcha. If keeping up the performance is becoming a source of angst instead of joy, it’s time for us to lower certain standards.
If your child refuses to wear the costume which she couldn’t wait to wear – so common with our children with special needs – ask yourself if this is a battle worth picking. Same if he won’t hug Bubby or if she insists on eating cookies for lunch. You’ve got enough on your head on Purim; now is just a bad time for a power struggle.
Get ready, get set...
Many children with special needs depend on familiar structure in order to feel calm. Purim is a day of anything but familiar structure, and there ain’t too many ways to get around that. The best you can do is to emotionally prep your child before the day hits. If your child knows what to expect on Purim, you just made the day that much easier for him.
We put together an adorable social story for you to read with your child before Purim. The story discusses the experiences on Purim, like megillah, costumes, and social interactions.
You can read it as a book, or use the pictures and content as a springboard for discussion, like who we might see on Purim, where we might go, and what the schedule will be.
Discussing what your child’s personal schedule will look like on Purim is very beneficial. Repeat the “first we will do x, and then we will do y” as many times as your child needs in order to get comfortable. If it’s helpful for your child, build in rewards along the way to encourage cooperation.
It’s impossible to do this fully, but where the situation allows for it, stick to normal. Try to start the day with the same morning routine and breakfast food as every day. If your child usually has a naptime, try not to skip it.
We’ve made a sample visual schedule for your child, tailored to this year’s Friday Purim! Feel free to print out our version, or just use it for inspiration in making a more personalized schedule – whatever works:)
Is your kid on a gluten-free diet? It’s hard for a kid to watch everyone else enjoy the good stuff while they need to watch what they eat.
Here’s a gluten-free hamantaschen recipe so that everyone can be included!
If you plan on bringing your child to shul for megillah, pack up a kit to bring along. Include earplugs (for loud “Hamans”), quiet fidget toys, an illustrated megillah (or other book, honestly), a quiet snack (sucking candies?), and a stopwatch timer (set it for however long you expect the leining to take).
Costumes have a tendency to be bulky, itchy, and generally uncomfortable. Find a nice, comfy weekday outfit for your sensory child to wear underneath the costume — both to keep the itchy material off their skin, and so that if the costume comes off while in public… Yeah.
Does your child get bored easily? Put her in charge of giving out the mishloach manos to everyone who comes. Instead of kvetching and tugging at your skirt while you politely schmooze with whoever is at the door, she’ll have the opportunity to feel like a part of things and get some attention from the guest.
If going out with your child with special needs is difficult on the most normal of days, the thought of venturing out together on Purim can be daunting. Don’t pressure yourself — especially not on a Friday Purim like this year’s. A phone call to wish a freilichin Purim to whomever you would have loved to see can totally suffice.
Holding Hands
Ezreinu’s Holding Hands department provides short-term respite care for children with special needs. We are expanding our network now in order to help more families get their respite requests covered for the upcoming yomim tovim.
Encourage your friends to join the Holding Hands network today and win $150!
^^ Want *YOUR NAME* to be in this spot next month?
Join Holding Hands and win a
$150 gift card!
Get 2 people to join Holding Hands = 1 ticket
Cover a short-term request = 2 tickets
Cover a long-term request = 3 tickets
Get involved TODAY to be entered into this month’s raffle!
No WhatsApp? No problem! Join the text group by texting your name and number to 929-450-4433.
And yes, you can still enter into the raffle:)